Canada Uses Mexican Wall Plan as Inspiration and Instead Prepares to Break Away from the USA

Throughout his campaign for presidency Trump often discussed his plans to build a wall between the US and Mexico. He was not, however, worried about his upstairs neighbours, Canada. Most likely because immigrants from Canada would still be white and English speaking, or the “safe ones.”  Even though America often forgets about Canada, Canadians can’t help but keep an eye on the US.

Trump continues to bait Kim Jong-un and North Korea, and Canada can only watch on with trepidation. Prime Minister Trudeau had this to say about the rising tension between the two countries:

“We are pretty easy going, but being hit by a stray missile meant for the United States, would really put a damper on our easy-breezy lifestyle.”

This is a real fear for many Canadians and some have decided to take action. One group formed, literally minutes after Trump’s election, are known as the Independent Canadian Island Coalition (ICIC). They started plans to break away from the United States using every day tools, such as drills, shovels, and even kitchen spatulas. Hey, every bit helps. However, the group gained popularity quickly, and soon the entire Canadian population was on board with the plan. Major Canadian companies, such as Tim Hortons have joined the fight. Some employees have even disassembled the Iced Capp machines to fashion a drill of sorts.

The ICIC president, Katherine Peterson, has been working with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and said that she “is willing to become an eighth continent if that is what it takes.”

She went on to say that she is “sure there are some people who think we are stronger together, like Pangea, but a bunch of tiny, weak, and separate continents sounds much better to us right about now. Harder to hit with a missile.”

Canadian past times have now been forgotten as Canadians spend their evenings and weekends digging at their local borders. The Stanley Cup Playoffs were completely ignored by the Canadian fans, which was a first in the history of the country. Also, major sponsors of the NHL, such as Canadian Tire, pulled their support, to instead donate shovels, pick axes, and other tools, to the digging project.

It is not only the adults getting involved. The Minister of Education explained that:

“We have already started to teach the school children that we are separated from the rest of North America. We give them a Future lesson instead of History, then throw a shovel in their hands, and take them to the border. The field trip costs have gone up, but we just took the money from the Prime Minister’s foreign affairs budget. We won’t be needing that now.”

When reached for comment about Canada’s plans to break away President Trump was quoted as saying:

“Who?”

Canada may be known globally as polite and easy to get along with, but this is one fight they won’t be taking sitting down.